


I Think I've Lost (It's Game Over)

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ITS 2 AM, M/M, Reverse Chronology, ty is dead sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 06:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20149129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I don't need their light especially when I have my own star right here."





	I Think I've Lost (It's Game Over)

**Author's Note:**

> Did I cry like a baby writing this? Yes.
> 
> Do I regret it? Hell no.
> 
> This started as a kinda funny thing and then turned into this so

Yuta sat in the car, escaping the cameras and the not-so-discreet side glances. He breathed against the cold glass, fogging it up. He lazily drew a star before letting out a mix between a cry and laugh. As he dropped his arm down, he shut his eyes and threw his head onto the seat. He slowly felt a small tear slide its way down his face, leaving a trail on his cheek, then his nose, before falling into his quivering mouth. He wasn't coming back

✮

Yuta was shaking, his head between his hands, the sound of shutters clicking and soft piano shoved to the back of his mind. He felt someone rubbing circles into his back, not caring who. He broke into sobs, the hand never leaving his back. He shook them off, not because he didn't enjoy the touch, but because he _needed _ to be touched. But the one person who he needed was lying in front of him, his face colorless and calm. His body lifeless and cold. He was gone

✮

Yuta stared at himself in the mirror. His hair, styled perfectly. His suit, clean and crisp. His skin, healthy and warm. His heart, still functioning and pumping. Yuta screamed out in frustration, throwing books, lamps, pictures, anything in his reach. He heard glass shattering, wood breaking to bits, papers bent and torn. He only stopped once he felt a sharp shard pressing into his foot. He pressed harder, a shooting feeling traveling up his spine, and soon, a red pool started spilling under himself. _He can't do this._ It was his fault

✮

Yuta stopped breathing. He was wrong, he had clearly misheard. That was impossible. He heard the screech of chairs being pushed back and yelling somewhere far off. His mouth hung open in shock. As hard as he tried, air was not coming into his lungs. There was no way... Yuta heard a voice someone scream what sounded like his name before all he saw was black. It wasn't right

✮

Yuta ran along a bed, trying to keep up with the large mass of people crowding around and in front of him. He had followed them into a room for a brief second before being pushed out. He fought to get inside, just to be pulled back by people he thought were on his side. Eventually, they placed him in an uncomfortable, impossibly small chair, where he tried to regulate his breathing. It was ok

✮

Yuta took the other head between his hands, shaking lightly. He pleaded he'd open his eyes, tears threatening to spill. He was shaking all over, more than Yuta's hands. His palms were sweaty, but the rest of him was as cold as a winter's night. Soon enough, everyone had come in by following the sound of his screaming and was carrying him out with Yuta frantically running after them. He was worried

✮

Yuta took a deep breath, filling himself with his scent. He hummed in content and snuggled closer to the other. The other laughed and turned to him.

"Wanna hear something?" his boyfriend's voice filled with excitement. Yuta could never resist such a tone, so he hummed once again

"Just promise you won't cringe or hit me." Taeyong said with a small smile. Yuta's eyes shot open at this, giving the other a questioning look. After Taeyong gave no sign of explaining, Yuta sighed and nodded slowly, looking to the side

This caused the elder to sit up while giggling, the other whining from the loss of warmth. His boyfriend leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose, making Yuta break out his million dollar smile. He sat up, holding his boyfriend's hand. 

"I came up with a few pickup lines and I wanted to try them on you," Taeyong says with an innocent look on his face looking up at Yuta, waiting for his approval. The latter's eyebrows shot up at this. They were already dating, why did he need to use pickup lines, and when he voiced this out loud, Taeyong rolled to his side, whining that he 'just wanted to'. Yuta laughed at this before pulling him up and nodding at him to continue

Taeyong cleared his throat before speaking, "You know, it's a good thing I have a sweet tooth, because you look as fine as powdered sugar," Taeyong said, even cringing at himself

He buried his head into his hands laughing in embarrassment while Yuta spoke, "Oh my God that was so awful, why am I even dating you?" Taeyong stopped immediately, pouting at him.

"Lemme try one more time, promise it's better." he said, using his puppy eyes, which he knew Yuta couldn't refuse

Of course he was right.

"What I love most about living in the city is simple. I can't see the stars. I don't need their light especially when I have my own star right here," Taeyong finishes with a light blush and gesturing towards Yuta. He doesn't say anything for the first few moments, and when he notices his boyfriend nervously twitching, Yuta takes his jaw and slots their lips together. The kiss is slow and gentle. He slowly lays them both down. They break apart and Yuta is petting Taeyong's hair, while Taeyong holds his hand and looks him in the eyes. 

"I love you."

_He was in love_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story of healing, from heartbreak and loss to a (in my opinion) heartwarming and fond interaction. This starts from after Taeyong's funeral to the night before his death. At the end of each paragraph is the stage:
> 
> After funeral: Full acceptance  
During funeral: Realization  
Before funeral: Blaming one's self  
News of TY's death: Denial  
TY at hospital: Convincing one's self  
TY in the morning: Panic, fear, etc  
The night before: Joy, love, wonder. Yuta's last good memory with Taeyong, where Taeyong confessed to Yuta
> 
> Because it's going backwards, we start with a trial and work our way to the happy 'ending' we want (sometimes), so because Yuta is going through his memories in reverse order, he is in a way, healing
> 
> Also in the third phase, Yuta thinks it's his fault because he felt if he had been awake, they would have been able to take Taeyong to the hospital sooner and he would have been able to live.
> 
> n e way hoped you like it it's currently 5:34 am and I started this at 2:12 am bcuz instagram is a bitch. Also the title is from Jamais Vu because that whole song is depressing as fuck
> 
> tmi but i feel like most ppl who use ao3 use twitter more and ppl who use wattpad go on insta more but like i use insta and ao3 the most cuz like my twitter acc is dead. only me??? prbly 
> 
> Also btw Taeyong dies from heart attack and stroke


End file.
